Only when we begin to trust ourselves do we begin to live.
Goethe
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832) was a German writer, scientist, lawyer and statesman. He was a prolific writer who enjoyed critical acclaim from his mid-20’s on. Goethe wrote novels, poems, plays and scientific treatises, his play Faust remains one of the most famous in human letters and Germans still quote him extensively. His influence on both science and literature remain enormous.
Read Free Week continues!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, October 13
The Wife and I went to a pumpkin patch deal they had a local park this afternoon…I asked The Wife exactly what in the hell a pumpkin patch was and she said there would be corn dogs…Not might be corn dogs…Not should be or could be corn dogs, there would be corn dogs, so I went in good spirits.
The Daily Dose/October 13, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
The Russian Soyuz spacecraft that was taking a Russian cosmonaut and an American astronaut to the relieve the crew at the International Space Station (ISS) aborted a few minutes after liftoff Thursday following a booster failure. The spacecraft was prepared for this and the crew returned to Earth safely and the Russians have suspended all future Soyuz launches. It is entirely possible the ISS will be left unmanned because the current crew will have to return to Earth in December due to the lifespan of the capsule that will bring them home.
Regular readers of this crap know we are unabashed fans of manned space travel here and, as usual, we appear to be the only ones getting worked up over Americans having to hitch a ride into space with the goddamned Ruskies. We should be ashamed of ourselves. We’ve said this before:
Had America wanted to, we could have had humans on Mars in the 1980s.
Had we put men on Mars who knows what technological innovations would have been discovered and who knows the lives we would be living today. Perhaps we’d all be jetting around in our own personal space packs. Maybe there would be settlements on Mars. Maybe there would have been advances sufficient to have made our recent mission to Pluto a manned expedition. Perhaps we would only have the satisfaction of being able to say we did it, we’ve been to Mars, yay for us.
Who knows? All we know is that we didn’t do it and the only nation that has put men on the moon can no longer send anyone into space. We should all go stand in the corner and hang our heads in shame.
Today at the Site
Sparrow has a busy day at the retailer on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. He is pleased to report his new half-glasses fit splendidly on the edge of his nose.
Usually, he’s good for at least a 12-pack, plus a one-liter bottle for the drive home…Today, tho, he had a sports drink and he said he was trying wean himself off of Mountain Dew, which I’ve heard is only slightly easier than weaning yourself off of heroin…
Saul Bellow has The Thought for the Day, a quote from his fine novel Ravelstein, concerning having a working and persistent mind.
Intelligence isn’t the ability to use big words few understand or the ability rattle off mindless facts or impressive figures. It is not retaining knowledge force-fed you by an ancient text or an enlightened master or a famous school. Intelligence is nothing more than the ability to learn, something all of us have.
On This Date
In 54 AD – Roman Emperor Claudius dies after 13 years on the throne and is succeeded by his stepson Nero. No one knows exactly how Claudius died. Some historians of the era say he was poisoned, possibly by his wife who wanted the throne for her son, but Claudius never enjoyed good health and he may well have died of natural causes. He had been declared emperor after the assassination of his nephew Caligula because he was the last surviving male in his family
In 1967 – The American Basketball Association debuts when the Oakland Oaks defeat the Anaheim Amigos 134-129 in Oakland. The league had 11 teams that first year and the Pittsburgh Pipers defeated the New Orleans Buccaneers in the first ABA finals four games to three. The ABA would fold after the 1975-76 season, with four teams joining the NBA, two other teams receiving buyouts and one other folding before the merger. Among its legacies are the three-point line and the slam dunk contest at all-star games.
In 2018 – Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line continue their unprecedented stay at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – currently known as the Hot Country Songs chart – as Meant to Be is at #1 for the 45th consecutive week, the longest any single has spent at #1 on any Billboard chart. It is the second time Florida Georgia Line has had the longest stay at #1 on this chart: in 2012-13 Cruise spent a then-record 24 weeks at #1.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The American group that had the next #1 song of the year after Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs in 1963 was Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs, whose Wooly Bully was Billboard’s #1 song of 1965. It earned this distinction despite only peaking at #2, the first time a song was named the biggest song of the year without hitting #1. The feat was repeated in both 2000 and 2001.
Today’s Stumper
Before Cruise spent 24 weeks at #1 three songs had spent 21 weeks at #1 on Billboard’s country chart. Name them. – Answer next time!
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He had real intelligence…a working, persistent mind…
Saul Bellow
Ravelstein
Saul Bellow (1915-2005) was a Canadian/American writer, born in Quebec to Russian emigres, and the family moved to Chicago when Saul was nine. In 1976 he won both the Nobel Prize for Literature and the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and we discovered Bellow by chance when a book of his we saw at a library sale in a rather small town seemed interesting. We were right. Ravelstein is a very wealthy and prominent man, and the story is told from the point of view of a long-time friend who admires Ravelstein but doesn’t always like him.
Read Free Week continues!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Friday, October 12
The new half-glasses, the ones I bought at the thrift store in the next county on Wednesday, made their debut at the retailer today…This is why I bought them, really, because glasses are on the edge of my nose all the time at the retailer…I need them for working the computer screen but they just muck things up for far away stuff and they were perfect today…The magnification is exactly what I need and they are smaller than my old glasses…The only drawback is they are rather delicate, so I have to take care of them, but that’s no big deal…An excellent 98 cent investment.
The Daily Dose/October 12, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
Many years ago we plied the reporter’s trade at a small newspaper in the southern California desert and we follow news of missing journalists closer than most. The most recent is Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi. He was last seen October 2nd entering the Saudi consulate in Istanbul, Turkey while his fiance waited outside. No one has seen him since.
Turkish official claim Khashoggi was tortured, murdered and decapitated – perhaps in that order – with his body parts carried out of the consulate. They also allege this was done on order from the Saudi government. For their part, the Saudis have declared this accusation “baseless” but not “false” and further claim that Khashoggi left through the back door, though nobody really believes this. And, since nothing on the planet can be done without US interference, America has sent investigators over to completely muck things up.
This is bad. A free press is one the fundamental tenets of a free society. Now, the press may or may not be doing their job well. It’s not here in America right now where reporters have stopped reporting, preferring to entertain instead and we’ve always felt that they are directly responsible for Donald Trump being elected president. A real media would have Trump – a billionaire who needed attention – our of the race in a few days. Instead, the modern American press saw the ratings and clicks Candidate Trump generated and ushered him right into the primaries
But the press must be allowed to do their work and while reporters here in America don’t go missing, yet, we must remain vigilant and protective of our free press.
Today at the Site
Today on The Diary of a Nobody, Sparrow and The Wife go out to breakfast yet again, this time at the local breakfast place in their small town that was closed yesterday. Also, Sparrow attends a meeting of his Legion Post, his first as Past Commander.
I got a funny in when Pat’s phone went off and Rick said that would be a $5 fine and I said you know, it’s a joint meeting, it really should be a $10 fine which was got some laffs but is hardly a Line of the Year candidate.
The Thought for the Day returns, with fresh commentary on a quote we’ve run before, from Rick Wallenda, about being on the wire.
But sometimes you fall off the wire…
On This Date
In 1960 – Inejiro Asanuma, the leader of Japan’s Socialist Party, is assassinated while speaking at a televised debate by a young man who stabbed him with a sword in the left side of his upper body. The assassin, 17-year-old Otoya Yamaguchi, who was not a fan of socialism, was captured immediately and would commit suicide by hanging himself in his jail cell three weeks later.
In 1986 – The Boston Red Sox, trailing 5-2 and three outs away from losing the American League Championship Series to the California Angels, rally for four runs in the ninth and ultimately win Game 5 in extra innings 7-6. The Red Sox were a strike away from losing when Dave Henderson hit a two-run home run giving Boston the lead. The Angels tied in the bottom of the ninth, but Henderson’s sacrifice fly gave the Red Sox the lead in the 11th. The Red Sox would win the final two games in Boston by a combined score of 18-5.
In 1963 – Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 with Sugar Shack. The song also went to #1 in Australia and was the last #1 song on Billboard’s soul chart before the chart took a 14-month hiatus. Sugar Shack spent five weeks at #1 and was Billboard’s #1 song for 1963.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
John J “Black Jack” Pershing is only other US Army officer to attain the rank of General of the Armies. He as appointed in 1919 and served until his retirement in 1924.
Today’s Stumper
After Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs, who was the next American group to have the year-end #1 song? – Answer next time!
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Life is being on the wire. Everything else is just waiting.
Rick Wallenda
One of the things about writing a column like this – or writing anything, really – is you must have practical experience in what you are writing about. This is why we don’t produce columns on auto repair or sailing: we know nothing about them. However, when we write about following our hearts and trusting our instincts or run a quote about being on the wire and nothing else mattering, well, we have significant experience in these matters and are fully qualified to write about them.
Read Free Week continues!
Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Thursday, October 11
While The Wife and I haven’t kept complete track over the years, we’re both pretty sure we set a record for Most Hash Browns Consumed At One Sitting.
It wasn’t intentional.
The Daily Dose/October 11, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
In The News
Yet another headline caught our eye:
North Korean Leader Invites Pope For Visit
Now, we know dictators need their share of attention, that’s one of the reasons they became dictators, but inviting the Pope over is bizarre even for current North Korean dictator Kim Jung-un, although the cynical in the audience might well say this would merely be a meeting of two dictators and what’s the big deal?
It’s a farce, of course, because North Koreans have about as much religious freedom as, well, a North Korean and usually aren’t permitted to worship anything other than the Kim dictators. A papal visit would like inviting a vegan over for a barbecue. Do not expect this to happen.
While there is not official Daily Dose policy on the matter, if we were a world leader, and we’re not – yet – we would not accept an invitation to so much as issue Kim Jong-un a curt nod, without North Korea closing the forced labor camps some of their citizens are held in.
Today at the Site
Sparrow and The Wife spend a very pleasant morning together on the today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. They go out to breakfast, where Sparrow makes the waitress put his hotcakes on a bigger plate, and when they get home The Wife puts the baseball jersey of her favorite team she bought at a thrift store in a pot and boils it in water, which Sparrow had never seen before.
For goodness sakes, put a stack of hotcakes on a regular-sized plate because otherwise, it feels like you’re eating a side dish…Plus, there’s no room for syrup and certainly no room for the man-sized hunks of sausage a growing boy like me requires…
We apologize for the one day delay and are pleased to present The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7 today. With Arizona winning their first game every NFL team has a win and the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy, promises to be the tightest in ages.
8. Oakland Raiders (1-4; lost to Los Angeles Chargers 26-10) – Raiders show cursory early interest, rallying for second quarter tie, before settling in, getting outscored 23-7 the rest of the way…55 penalty yards, 41 rushing yards give Raiders weekly best 1.341-to-1 Penalty Yard-to-Rushing Yards ration…Next Loss: Seattle
The Thought for the Day will return.
On This Date
In 1976 – George Washington, who retired from US Army service as Lieutenant General, then the highest rank in the Army, is appointed General of the Armies after President Ford approved Congress’ resolution approving it. The act gives Washington precedence over all other Army officers. The appointment was retroactive to America’s bicentennial, July 4, 1976.
In 1865 – John Wesley Hyatt patents the first billiard ball. It was made of cellulose nitrate, which Hyatt named Celluloid. Earlier billiard balls had been made of ivory. Hyatt was a versatile man and is in both the Plastics and the Inventors halls of fame.
In 1980 – Another One Bites the Dust by Queen is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second of three weeks. It was the second and final #1 by Queen, following Crazy Little Thing Called Love which has spent four weeks at #1 earlier in the year. The song also went to #1 in Holland and Canada, and also went to #2 on Billboard’s Hot Soul Singles chart, then the biggest hit by a British act on Billboard’s soul chart.
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The first American to earn separate Medals of Honor in different wars was Army officer Frank Baldwin, for actions in the Civil War (1864) and in the Indian Wars (1874)
Today’s Stumper
What other US Army officer was promoted to the rank of General of the Armies? – Answer next time!
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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
And then there were none.
Arizona’s victory at San Francisco means there are no longer any unvictoried teams in the NFL. And that the race for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten excellence – is wide open. So wide open, in fact, that the two-time defending Bottom Ten champions, the Cleveland Browns, are not even in the survey this week despite winning only two (2) games.
This week’s fiasco, as the nags enter the clubhouse turn:
1. San Francisco 49ers (1-4; lost to Arizona 28-18) – 49ers ascend B-10 throne after clutch home, five (5)-turnover loss to last week’s #1 team…With quarterback who engineered 2017’s season-ending five (5)-game winning streak injured, 49ers have B-10 glory squarely in crosshairs…Next Loss: at Green Bay
