The Daily Dose/October 10, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Friends, as penance for not having a Leading Off item for you, today’s Diary of a Nobody and NFL Bottom Ten are offered with our compliments. 

Scroll down and click on the links to enjoy.

Today At The Site:
The Diary of a Nobody: Winter’s on the way. Today’s Diary. 

The cook who opens the restaurant, whose name I don’t know, is still waltzing in in his usual shorts and a t-shirt…I asked when he planned to start wearing a jacket and he said he probably wouldn’t, yeah it’s cold, but it doesn’t really bother him…Damn…Either he deserves homage or a (lined) straight jacket because I’ve been bundling up for two weeks and a cold front is coming in tonight and I’ll be breaking the really warm winter coat soon enough. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7:  The race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – stumbles on. 

Here are some funnies from this week’s NFL Bottom Ten:

With Bengals scheduled to play in London later this month, Queen Elizabeth rumoured to be scouring Treaty of Ghent to see if game be passed off on Kenya or some other Commonwealth country…

Though not quite as bad as Bengals – who is??? – Cardinals still reap strength-of-schedule points for close road win against winless Bengals…

[Chargers] sinking so fast B-10 pollsters thinking about dusting off classic “StubHub Center spokesman assures LA football fans tarps will be taken off seats in time for next month’s high school football playoffs” line…

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On This Date
In 1973 – Spiro Agnew resigns as vice president of the United States after being charged with federal income tax evasion. Agnew, a former Maryland governor, had been elected as Richard Nixon’s vice president in 1968 and they were reelected in 1972. Agnew was the second vice president to resign, following John Calhoun of South Carolina, who resigned in 1832 to serve in the United States Senate. Agnew was replaced by Gerald Ford, who was nominated by Nixon and confirmed by Congress, the first vice president chosen under the terms of the 25th Amendment.

In 1964 – The XVIII Summer Olympics begin in Tokyo. Judo and volleyball made their Olympic debuts and fiberglass poles were used for the first time in the pole vault. These were also the first Olympics to be televised via satellite. At the time, they were the latest starting date for a Summer Olympics held in the Northern Hemisphere, a mark that would be broken by Mexico City in 1968 (Oct. 12). Tokyo had originally been awarded the 1940 Summer Games, but these were given to Helsinki after Japan invaded China and were later canceled due to World War II. The Games will return to Tokyo next year.

In 1960 – Brook Benton is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B chart – for the seventh of nine consecutive weeks with Kiddio. It was Benton’s third soul chart #1 of the year and his sixth of seven career #1s. The song was also the fifth of six Top 10 hits for Benton on Billboard’s Hot 100, peaking at #7. Benton originally pursued a career in gospel music and had a variety of hits on Billboard’s Christian chart.

Quotebook
The case against Clevenger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with.
Joseph Heller
Catch-22

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
KC and the Sunshine Band was the only act in the Top 10 of the Oct. 9, 1976, Billboard Hot 100 to have black members.

Today’s Stumper
Which president(s) did John Calhoun serve as vice president? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/October 9, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

USA! USA!: It’s not reasonable to expect an impeachment investigation of a US president to be anything other than cantankerous and partisan. It’s the nature of the impeachment beast. So the White House’s announcement that it will not cooperate with any aspect of the House investigation – which itself might well end up as an article of impeachment – is hardly a bulletin. 

The announcement was contained in a letter from presidential counsel Pat Cipollone to House leaders, including Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. We read the letter which, like the Trump Administration itself, is a lot of blather and nothing of any particular substance. The letter does not cite legal precedent – because it can’t – or even any logical argument. 

Anyone Have A Tissue Handy? The letter whines about the House not taking a vote before proceeding with the investigation stating, in part: 

…you have denied the President the right to cross-examine witnesses, to call witnesses, to receive transcripts of testimony, to have access to evidence, to have counsel present, and many other basic rights guaranteed to all Americans.

Dry, Technical Matter: So what? The House is not required to provide any of these things, the Constitution allowing the House to go about its impeachment business however it sees fit. The House is conducting an impeachment inquiry, not a criminal investigation. The only penalty that can be bestowed following conviction by the United States Senate is civil – removal from office – and not criminal and rights afforded the criminally accused are not required here.  

LOL: The final paragraph calls the House proceedings constitutionally illegitimate, cites the “many deficiencies” cited and implores the House to abandon its “current invalid efforts”. 

Fly In The Ointment: The letter does point out that House GOP leaders have not been given the same subpoena power the Democrats have. OK…Two points: 1) they don’t have to provide that and,  2) the White House has pledged not to cooperate, so this point is moot. 

Final Thought: It is not really surprising the Trump Administration and the American people have been reduced to this because Trump’s presidency has been as embarrassing as his candidacy. From Day 1 President Trump has flouted and ignored precedent, protocol and good sense. He has never had a long-term vision for America probably because he’s never had a long-term vision for himself: his only goal is to draw as much attention to himself as possible, something he does supremely well. 

Editor’s note: the entire letter referenced above can be read here.

Today At The Site:
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow checks out a homeless guest at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

Like other homeless I’ve come across over the years – like my late brother – he was cordial and well-spoken and I found myself wondering why he was homeless…Really, tho, there’s no doubt; I have experience in these matters: he did not want the responsibility of providing for himself

I once asked a guy about this…It was at a gas station in Sin City and he was hitting me up for some money…Same deal: polite and well-spoken…He shrugged and all but said yeah, well, you know and provided neither reason nor excuse for his homelessness…Like my brother, he didn’t want the bother of providing food and shelter…There are people like that in this world…As it was, I recall giving the guy a few bucks. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Week 7 NFL Bottom Ten will move Thursday morning.

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On This Date
In 1874 – The Treaty of Bern, establishing the General Postal Union, is signed in Bern, Switzerland by 21 nations, including the United States. The treaty replaced postal agreements between individual countries and established the free exchange of international mail. Renamed the Universal Postal Union a few years later, it is now an agency of the UN. Nations and territories that are not members generally have their mail routed through a member nation. 

In 2005 – The Houston Astros and the Atlanta Braves establish a new major league record for the longest postseason game, with the Astros winning 7-6 in 18 innings to win their division series 3 games to 1. The game broke the record of 16 innings established by the Astros and New York Mets in Game 6 of the 1986 National League Championship Series and the record still stands, now shared with Game 2 of the 2014 National League Division Series between the San Francisco Giants and Washington Nationals and Game 3 of the 2018 World Series between the Boston Red Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers. 

In 1976 – Walter Murphy and the Big Apple Band are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with A Fifth of Beethoven, based on Ludwig van Beethoven’s Symphony #5. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #10 on Billboard’s soul and disco charts, was Billboard’s tenth biggest song of the year and remains his only #1 song. Though not a staple on the charts, Murphy, now 66, has had a long, award-winning career composing film and television scores.

Quotebook
A few people reason, but all people feel.
Louis L’Amour
Education of a Wandering Man

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Alvin C York, a Medal of Honor winner in World War I, was commissioned a major in the Army Signal Corps for World War II, touring training camps and participating bond drives.

Today’s Stumper
On the Billboard Hot 100 chart of Oct. 9, 1976 nine of the acts in the Top 10 were white, a curiosity that began the previous week and would last until Nov. 13 when the Commodores and the Spinners would both be in the Top 10. Who was the only Top 10 act to have black members the week of Oct. 9? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/October 8, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site:
The Diary of a Nobody: The latest pants from the Sparrow Winter Collection are debuted. Today’s Diary. 

The only real problem is they are really dark blue, not faded at all – as opposed to my regular blue jeans, which come partly faded – and I don’t particularly like dark blue jeans…This is one reason I mainly wore corduroys growing up…I didn’t really want to wait until they faded plus, back then they were stiff as a board brand new, too, which also got on my nerves. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 7: Hut, hut, hike. the race for the ESPNCup – symbolic of Bottom Ten supremacy – stumbles on with little change as Rice continues to set the pace.

Here are some funnies from this week’s Bottom Ten:

Owls 0-6 for sixth time ever, fourth time this century, first time since 2016 and oh, hell, you get the idea.

B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” UConn only school whose chick basketball team has more national championships (11) overall than football team has wins (9) in last four years

Loss blamed on confusion caused by pregame ruling by Air Force secretary requiring Falcons to end all audibles by yelling “shiver me timbers” in hopes of scaring Midshipmen into submission.

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On This Date
In 1918 – US Army Corporal Alvin C York earns the Medal of Honor for killing 28 Germans and capturing 132 more while under heavy machine-gun fire in the Meuse-Argonne Offensive in France in World War I. Originally, York had been award the Distinguished Service Cross, which was upgraded a few months later. York had originally claimed conscientious objector status but later withdrew the application when he came con. 

In 1904 – Jimmy Barrett of the Detroit Tigers becomes the first major league player to appear in 162 games in a season. Teams were only scheduled for 154 games back then but the Tigers had two unplayed games and ten tie games and Barrett played in every one of them. Research into whose record Barrett broke was inconclusive, however, his record stood until Brooks Robinson (Baltimore Orioles) and Rocky Colavito (Detroit Tigers) each played in 163 games in 1961 and the record is now 165 games, done my Maury Wills (Los Angeles Dodgers) in 1962. 

In 1977 – Meco, born Domenico Monardo, is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band. It was the first of five top 40 hits for Meco and remains his only #1 song. The song also peaked at #8 on Billboard’s soul chart and went to #1 in Canada. John Williams’ version of the song, which he wrote and which appeared on the Star Wars soundtrack, was on the chart concurrently with Meco’s version, peaking at #10.

Quotebook
Carpentier did it again!, a second time, and this was the blow perfected by a lifetime of training…it rocked Dempsey to his heels, but it broke Carpentier’s hand. His best was not enough.
Heywood Braun

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Billboard’s #1 song of 1967 was To Sir With Love by Lulu.

Today’s Stumper
Alvin C York served in the Army again in World War II. What was his role? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/October 7, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site:
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow deals with a drunk older

Then there was this drunk, old(er) blonde woman at the start of the shift…Drunk older blondes have loved ol’ Sparrow since he was diapers and this one did, too…She was at the sundry stand and said she had just left the bar and acknowledged she’d had three tequilas which in other circumstances used to mean yours truly should probably start disrobing.

Anyway, she couldn’t decide which yummy to buy at the sundry stand and then she started fretting about whether she’d left the barkeep a suitable gratuity and when she paid for her iced lemon cake she gave me $5 to give to the bartender.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1988 – A hunter discovers three whales trapped in an ice pack off the coast of Point Barrow, Alaska. Local efforts to free the whales failed and although whales have been getting trapped in ice since time immemorial, an international effort to free them was launched and the whales were freed on Oct. 28. A young whale died on Oct. 21 and it’s not known how long the other two whales survived. 

In 1956 – Art Carmichael of the Green Bay Packers established a new NFL record, returning a kickoff 106-yards for touchdown in a 37-21 loss to the Chicago Bears. The return came in the first quarter following a Bears touchdown that, following the conversion, tied the game 7-7. Carmichael’s record was broken in 2007 by Ellis Hobbs of New England (107 yards) and is now held by Cordarrelle Patterson of the Minnesota Vikings, who had a 109-yard return in 2013.  Carmichael twice led the NFL in kickoff returns and his return remains the tenth longest play in NFL history. History also remembers Carmichael for scoring the first touchdown in AFL history and he died this past September. 

In 1967 – The Box Tops are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the third of four consecutive weeks with The Letter. It was the group’s first of seven Top 40 hits and their first of two Top 10 songs, preceding 1968’s Cry Like a Baby, which peaked at #2. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #5 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s second biggest song of 1967. The song would hit the Top 40 two more times, by the Arbors (#20, 1969) and by Joe Cocker (#7, 1970).

Quotebook
I spent the whole day without food, the whole night without sleep…My mind was a perfect blank…I understood nothing at all. That is why I think it is better to study real things in a real world.
Gore Vidal
Creation
Attributed to Confucius

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Steve Garvey his home run in the bottom of the ninth inning in Game 4 of the 1984 National League Championship Series off of Lee Smith. 

Today’s Stumper
What was Billboard’s #1 song of 1967? – Answer next time!

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